Thursday, May 12, 2011
For My Loving Mom
Advanced Happy Birthday Mom! And yes, Belated Happy Mother's day too!
Ma...I want to write something for you. But i lack that needed confidence to kickstart it. I have this fear within me ringing those warning bells - "hey...you can't do it, Can you capture the moonlight within two hands??? You can just experience it, never dare to explain". But i have decided to embrace that fear and yell out - "Let me give a try..its not for the world to show how better i can express, its for my inner satisfaction to revisit and cherish the bonding". Its for me to realize how blessed i am to be gifted with you!
I must tell you, as i'm starting to write here, my heart beat is racing up as if i'm writing my final exams, as if i'm appearing for my first interview, as if i was sitting next to my groom in marraige, as if i'm entering into the labor ward. I'm just so nervous now...Ma..pass me on some courage as you always did in crucial times...give me that assurance that you have confidence in me....put me in that comfort that i'm capable of anything.
Ma..can i raise my kids as you did?? Can i teach them the value of relationships as you taught us? Can i stand by them every time they need support from me?? Can i be as self-less & as dedicated as you are??? Can i change myself to the changing times & trends and remain as friendly solace as you are now??? Can i make Sanju & Roshu as attached & as effectionate as me & anna are now? Can i teach them that the success is measured by the values you are carrying forward, but not the wealth?? can i be as subtle & yet as strong as you are while pointing out our mistakes?
If i can, i'm not going to ask anything more..i'm rest assured of kid's future...
When we were young & sailing through hard times, there was never a dull moment at home. You tried to make the atmosphere as lively as we have everything available in the world. You concealed your hardships under your radiant smiles & warmth and made us feel that everything is OKay...You always dreamt of our bright future and stood rock solid against all odds in your life to ensure that we feel secured. Those little little savings you made ensured that we are never deprived of minimum comforts and taught us the value of money. Every moment we are living today has this connection to go back to those tough times you faced. Had you been otherwise, we can't imagine what we are today.
Today i'm in this respectable position, to be able to give kids what they want even without a second thought, its all because of your support. Can i even imagine how i would continue to work leaving 2mths Sanju at home wihtout you. Its because i know you care for Sanju more than i do and she is in safe hands. You just didn't take care of kids, but also made sure that i'm not pressurized. You allowed me to have that quality time with kids making sure that i don't even have to look into minimal household chores. It might not sound great for others, but it means a lot when i was trying to dedicate as much time as i could to the kids. The way you were teaching things to Sanju, i was like waiting to come home to see what Sanju has learnt today. It was fun!
After all this, can i ask you for more??? I just hope you be there through out the life passing on that much needed warmth, suggessions & guidance. You are the one in this whole word who accepts me for what i am and loves me for whatever i do. To whom do i turn out without any inhibitions when i had to vent out or even to confess? You will never judge me, but will guide me to be a better person. You laugh when we laugh, you cry when we cry, Such a blessing! That unconditional love, where else can anyone get except from Mom?? That's why you are the best & bestest!!!!!
Ma...I want to write something for you. But i lack that needed confidence to kickstart it. I have this fear within me ringing those warning bells - "hey...you can't do it, Can you capture the moonlight within two hands??? You can just experience it, never dare to explain". But i have decided to embrace that fear and yell out - "Let me give a try..its not for the world to show how better i can express, its for my inner satisfaction to revisit and cherish the bonding". Its for me to realize how blessed i am to be gifted with you!
I must tell you, as i'm starting to write here, my heart beat is racing up as if i'm writing my final exams, as if i'm appearing for my first interview, as if i was sitting next to my groom in marraige, as if i'm entering into the labor ward. I'm just so nervous now...Ma..pass me on some courage as you always did in crucial times...give me that assurance that you have confidence in me....put me in that comfort that i'm capable of anything.
Ma..can i raise my kids as you did?? Can i teach them the value of relationships as you taught us? Can i stand by them every time they need support from me?? Can i be as self-less & as dedicated as you are??? Can i change myself to the changing times & trends and remain as friendly solace as you are now??? Can i make Sanju & Roshu as attached & as effectionate as me & anna are now? Can i teach them that the success is measured by the values you are carrying forward, but not the wealth?? can i be as subtle & yet as strong as you are while pointing out our mistakes?
If i can, i'm not going to ask anything more..i'm rest assured of kid's future...
When we were young & sailing through hard times, there was never a dull moment at home. You tried to make the atmosphere as lively as we have everything available in the world. You concealed your hardships under your radiant smiles & warmth and made us feel that everything is OKay...You always dreamt of our bright future and stood rock solid against all odds in your life to ensure that we feel secured. Those little little savings you made ensured that we are never deprived of minimum comforts and taught us the value of money. Every moment we are living today has this connection to go back to those tough times you faced. Had you been otherwise, we can't imagine what we are today.
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| My Family |
you celebrated our small acheivements and always instilled confidence that we can do better. How can we forget the pictorial epic books you used to present us whenever we stand first in class? The spark in your eyes when someone praises us...., the love you shower on us despite the conditions...we are blessed to have you. I learnt it from you to cherish the little moments in life that could go unnoticed if dealt otherwise, yet they make such a big impression and gives that sense of fulfillment.
I remember when i was staying in VJA & you were in AKP, there was never a time you voiced the hard times you were going through but when i learnt them from relatives, i distress.. i was just helpless.
When i was about to get married, i still remember the night when i asked with all possible immaturity if my husband is going to beat me if i won't listen to him...after all, i have seen only that in your all life. And you responded that i'm that sweetest girl who can never get scouldings or beatings from anyone. You like it or not, you accept it or not, thats where i got the essence of life. As long as we are at our sweetest best in understanding others, things do fall in our place on their own. And its worth it all especially in cared relationships.
And when you people relocated to AKP from Hyd just not to cause any disturbances in MY married life, i know what you must have gone through. Knowing that you have toxic challenges to face without our support, you were still willing to do it just to see us happy. I was hell scared at every phone call from you waiting to hear the worst. And when i got a call asking us to come home immediately, the immediate thought passed through my mind was what happenned to mom???? But it was something else and irreparable. It was unexpected dad's demise and how can i console you?? For that matter, should i?? It was heart breaking to leave you alone in such situation and come back to Hyd.
Today i'm in this respectable position, to be able to give kids what they want even without a second thought, its all because of your support. Can i even imagine how i would continue to work leaving 2mths Sanju at home wihtout you. Its because i know you care for Sanju more than i do and she is in safe hands. You just didn't take care of kids, but also made sure that i'm not pressurized. You allowed me to have that quality time with kids making sure that i don't even have to look into minimal household chores. It might not sound great for others, but it means a lot when i was trying to dedicate as much time as i could to the kids. The way you were teaching things to Sanju, i was like waiting to come home to see what Sanju has learnt today. It was fun!
After all this, can i ask you for more??? I just hope you be there through out the life passing on that much needed warmth, suggessions & guidance. You are the one in this whole word who accepts me for what i am and loves me for whatever i do. To whom do i turn out without any inhibitions when i had to vent out or even to confess? You will never judge me, but will guide me to be a better person. You laugh when we laugh, you cry when we cry, Such a blessing! That unconditional love, where else can anyone get except from Mom?? That's why you are the best & bestest!!!!!
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Soul Mate!!!
Surely, this is not the first day i thought of writing about DH & mother, but you know, was always apprehensive that i might not be able to express as much as i wanted to and perhaps i will never be able to express anything as it should be. But, things needs to start at some point or other, so here i start about DH.
We both come from two different lattitudes. I was an amateur carefully fed by family and dependent for all emotional needs. He on the otherside is a bird on his own wings, emotionally balanced, way beyond matured to handle things. While i was kiddish, trying to look for solace in little funny things he was clear on what he wanted for a contended life.
To be precise, i had zero expectations on the would be partner, infact i had zero knowledge on how marraige system works. I was blind enough to beleive that it will be set by parents and i will need to walk into it holding his hand. Blissful ignorance! I call it blissful and i totally mean it. Cant guess if i was so much knowledgeful that time, where i would have landed now.
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| The much talked about DH :), Myself, Sanju & Roshu |
We both come from two different lattitudes. I was an amateur carefully fed by family and dependent for all emotional needs. He on the otherside is a bird on his own wings, emotionally balanced, way beyond matured to handle things. While i was kiddish, trying to look for solace in little funny things he was clear on what he wanted for a contended life.
I'm a person with book knowledge and career skills while he is a person with no great degree after his name but excelled in worldly skills.
I call first year of marraige a tough one. We never had fights, but surely had those tiny compatiable issues that are within-the-two. Wonder, if any couple remains untouched with these. If does, there is something wrong :)
As i say this, i must also tell you that i never had my hands on cooking till the marraige. But when it was the time for me to cook all by myself, i must appreciate him for bearing me & my experiments. He ate whatever i cooked(ofcourse, no choice) without any complaints & I remember him praising me before others at times for no reason except to keep my spririts up.
He knows to treat the woman right every where, makes sure that women in his life get due respect from everyone be it his mother or his wife. There was never a day he tried to compare me with any other woman be it in cooking, cleaning or organizing. Not that he never criticizes, he does...but never through comparison.
While i tried to fool him on 1st April, he simply accepted it and asked me if one becomes fool among both of us, will the other one remain not? I saw his point. I never tried to fool him again till date and ofcourse, i am not finding fun in doing that any more with anyone.
He accepts the responsblity as it is and never tries to make any excuses howmuch ever painful and stressful it is.
I never seen him watching TV in hall, while i was mugging in kitchen. He gives me that much needed helping hand. Don't know how many husbands out there do it the same way, but i'm happy that he does.
He loves my family & extended family more than i do and they all love & respect him the same way. Will some one ask for better?
If there is a party or function to be done, he is the one who takes all the work on his shoulders and executes it single handedly and flawlessly. Latest brother's marraige is an example.
He hardly listens to me. But i'm convinced that its for right reasons ;-)
When i had to travel alone to US and when i finished my MBA, he was more excited than i was. He celebrated it with a cake on the day my results were out. He passed on the courage for me to travel and did all the packing for me. Will all the much educated hubbies too the same? I doubt.
Not all express effection the same way. While i do it by gifts and surprises, he does it by caring & comforting. However, he is not too bad at giving surprises though. For my first bday after marraige, he decorated the house with balloons by the time i was back from office. After about 5 yrs, for last V-day, he gifted me a nice gift article with two birds. Need i say i was super delighted after knowing what kind of a person he is?
I love him to the bits for what a father he is. He lives as if his purpose to live is to make the kids happy. He is overwhelmed if someone praises kids. He calls me 20 times in a day if i travel with kids otherwise twice a day ;-) He never gives a second thought if to buy something for them. He makes sure that he gives them all perfects. I wonder how he looks into details of whatever they wear. He handpicks their dresses & jewellery. If we were to go to a movie, he bothers about his shop but if it was to do with shopping for kids, he doesn't mind closing the shop for 3 days in a row. Beleive me, he comes home at 10:30 in night and notices if Sanju's skin is anyway little dry. There were numerous nights in winter he applied moisturizer to Sanju as her skin gets dried. Phew...so much for me. I can never!
All in all, i say he values the family and cares to keep the family members happy rather than impressing. I know it and happy for it! And yes, i want him to remain the same always!
While i tried to fool him on 1st April, he simply accepted it and asked me if one becomes fool among both of us, will the other one remain not? I saw his point. I never tried to fool him again till date and ofcourse, i am not finding fun in doing that any more with anyone.
He accepts the responsblity as it is and never tries to make any excuses howmuch ever painful and stressful it is.
I never seen him watching TV in hall, while i was mugging in kitchen. He gives me that much needed helping hand. Don't know how many husbands out there do it the same way, but i'm happy that he does.
He loves my family & extended family more than i do and they all love & respect him the same way. Will some one ask for better?
If there is a party or function to be done, he is the one who takes all the work on his shoulders and executes it single handedly and flawlessly. Latest brother's marraige is an example.
He hardly listens to me. But i'm convinced that its for right reasons ;-)
When i had to travel alone to US and when i finished my MBA, he was more excited than i was. He celebrated it with a cake on the day my results were out. He passed on the courage for me to travel and did all the packing for me. Will all the much educated hubbies too the same? I doubt.
Not all express effection the same way. While i do it by gifts and surprises, he does it by caring & comforting. However, he is not too bad at giving surprises though. For my first bday after marraige, he decorated the house with balloons by the time i was back from office. After about 5 yrs, for last V-day, he gifted me a nice gift article with two birds. Need i say i was super delighted after knowing what kind of a person he is?
I love him to the bits for what a father he is. He lives as if his purpose to live is to make the kids happy. He is overwhelmed if someone praises kids. He calls me 20 times in a day if i travel with kids otherwise twice a day ;-) He never gives a second thought if to buy something for them. He makes sure that he gives them all perfects. I wonder how he looks into details of whatever they wear. He handpicks their dresses & jewellery. If we were to go to a movie, he bothers about his shop but if it was to do with shopping for kids, he doesn't mind closing the shop for 3 days in a row. Beleive me, he comes home at 10:30 in night and notices if Sanju's skin is anyway little dry. There were numerous nights in winter he applied moisturizer to Sanju as her skin gets dried. Phew...so much for me. I can never!
All in all, i say he values the family and cares to keep the family members happy rather than impressing. I know it and happy for it! And yes, i want him to remain the same always!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lovely Day...Yester day!!!!
Yes, it was indeed a lovely day. Not that i acheived some thing and not for some memorable reasons...but yes, i loved it, I enjoyed it.
It was 6PM in office yester day. I suddenly realised that i have to go home. Looked out...hmm..it was raining. I thought i better call up my cousin who works near my office to get a drop. Called up, but nah...he didn't pick up. I thought Okay....he might have already got started.
Got down the stairs...It was drizzling. Thought i'll wait for a little...but nah...two little ones at home must be eagerly waiting for me. Started walking. Such a beautiful weather...never paid attention to these small details before. It was drizzling in small drops. Cool breezes passing across..
It was 6PM in office yester day. I suddenly realised that i have to go home. Looked out...hmm..it was raining. I thought i better call up my cousin who works near my office to get a drop. Called up, but nah...he didn't pick up. I thought Okay....he might have already got started.
Got down the stairs...It was drizzling. Thought i'll wait for a little...but nah...two little ones at home must be eagerly waiting for me. Started walking. Such a beautiful weather...never paid attention to these small details before. It was drizzling in small drops. Cool breezes passing across..
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Movie Leader - I Loved it
Hmm...I know this movie has finished its 100days and this review is very late. But, better late than never is what i beleive :)
Ask me how i felt after watching the movie..i say, Great! I just cant stop appreciating Shekar Kammula for his honest efforts. Out and out political Movie, but no mudslinging, No indirect attacks, No mass elements, No massala songs or dialouges..everything that is very true in a very true sense. I'm sure the director didn't try making it as a commercial movie. I feel he has certain rules set for himself by self and he for sure does follow them. Not just a good director, but a good individual all the way!
Ask me how i felt after watching the movie..i say, Great! I just cant stop appreciating Shekar Kammula for his honest efforts. Out and out political Movie, but no mudslinging, No indirect attacks, No mass elements, No massala songs or dialouges..everything that is very true in a very true sense. I'm sure the director didn't try making it as a commercial movie. I feel he has certain rules set for himself by self and he for sure does follow them. Not just a good director, but a good individual all the way!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My Loving Brother- Kesav
But, April is also special to me. Reason enti ante, Sanju was born in April and my brother's birthday is also in April. Today is his birthday. Will there be a better date to talk about our relationship??? I dont think Yes.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sanju….My Love, My Life.
24th April. Can I ever forget this date? Nah..Exactly before 4 years, I was gifted with this little angel. Tiny hands, tiny fingers, innocent looks, big yawns…..All these were inside me till that moment….Wow…Such a nice thought. Wasn’t it nostalgic? Yes, it is..How do I wish you are only for me forever??? Selfish me. But then, when would I see your beautiful smile?
Sanju, you made my life purposeful. You made me learn to manage the pregnancy and introduced me to motherhood. The way you cheer up others, the way you share things, the way you ask questions and the way you respond……I’m amazed at everything
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